The reactions of an imperfect Mommy and the Grace of her Savior.

Hello again! After a long restful weekend I have some catching up to do.

Thursday afternoon I struggled to hold my temper. My children are testing my limits and I failed to step up to the task of leading them with a quiet spirit. I am guilty of loosing control of my words and lashing out at them. That is very hard to swallow because I long to be the Mom who has all of the answers and can discipline her children with love and kindness. A friend of mine posted on her Facebook that " it is our spontaneous, unconscious, unscheduled reactions that reveal who and what we really are." There it was staring me in the face the reality of my Sin. There is no excuse all I can do is lay it all out before the Lord and pray for his Grace.

 Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
 ²³They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."

Amazing Grace indeed. Everyday is new and I am given a new heart to serve my Lord. How completely and utterly amazing is that? I have no words to express the humbling and joyful feeling that fills my heart to level of bursting when I read those words.

My story does not end there. After such a rough day I quieted my spirit and decided I would sit with my children at dinner and discuss their behavior. My dear Husband was working late so I was able to focus on each one of my children. I started with Jacob the oldest. We somehow ended up talking about his salvation and about the fact that he was saved. This lead to me giving my children my testimony (albeit a shorter kid friendly version) for the first time. This lead Jordan to ask questions and to express his desire to accept Jesus as his personal savior! I was SHOCKED! how can this be? How can the Holy Spirit reach this child when his Mother is such a blatant sinner?

Thursday night in the quiet of his bedroom my son accepted Jesus into his heart with tears of joy. Oh be still my heart the light that shone from my boys eyes I have no words for. The complete understanding of his sin and the acceptance of the savior moved him so that I had no doubt in my mind that the spirit was behind it all.

As God continues to mold and shape my heart I must remember that He is also working on the hearts that are closest to mine. It is not me that lead my son to Christ but the spirit to which I am merely a servant.

This morning during my quiet time God continued his work teaching me how to come to him. Psalms 51 is where I was lead and it has taught me how to daily confess. Something I have never been faithful in doing.

Psalm 51

King James Version (KJV)

Psalm 51

 ¹Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
 ²Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
 ³For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
 ⁴Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
 ⁵Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
 ⁶Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
 ⁷Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
 ⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
 ⁹Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
 ¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
 ¹¹Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
 ¹²Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
 ¹³Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
 ¹⁴Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
 ¹⁵O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
 ¹⁶For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
 ¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
 ¹⁸Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
 ¹⁹Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

May you have a blessings filled day.

Always
Cass